Why I Haven’t Liked You

I thought you should know the truth:

I haven’t liked you for a while.

You may already know that.  In the past, you’ve posted things on Facebook about your life, your travel and your thoughts.  When I saw things I connected with, I would hit the “like” button so you would know.

I haven’t done that for a while.  I haven’t been spending much time on Facebook.

So when I haven’t responded to your posts, it’s nothing personal.  In most cases, I didn’t see it.

I still like you.  I just haven’t “liked” you.


I haven’t spent as much time as usual on email, either.  Or LinkedIn or Twitter.  Or social media in general.

There’s a reason.  It’s the same reason you haven’t seen a blog post from me for a few months.

It’s called bandwidth.

Bandwidth means you can only do so many things effectively at one time.  The more you try to do, the more diluted everything gets.  You end up really busy, but never accomplish anything.

We all have 24 hours in a day, but about 100 hours worth of opportunities.  There are so many things we want to do, and they’re good things.  It’s tempting to try to cram as many things as possible into those 24 hours.

But we can’t.  At least not while keeping our sanity.

I read a book earlier this year called “The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results” by Gary Keller.  A friend recommended it.  It’s exactly what I teach every day in different corporations, so I identified easily with it.  But seeing it through someone else’s eyes gave me a fresh look.

The author says that the less we do, the more effective we’ll become. He suggests that we should pick the one, single thing that is the most important to do over the next six months to a year – something that would have huge payoff if we accomplished it.  Then focus our energy entirely on that one thing.

Just one.

The biggest takeaway for me was thisOnce you decide what that one thing is, everything else is a distraction.

Distractions are “shiny objects.”  They come unexpectedly from every angle, and they look a lot more interesting than the important thing we’re working on.

But if we go after them, it takes us away from the one thing.

So here’s what it means for me:

What has my one thing been for the past six months?

A new book that I’m writing that’s due at the publisher in three weeks.

What are my shiniest distractions?

Facebook, email, social media, other articles I want to write, blog posts, cleaning my office, maintaining my yard . . .

They’re all good distractions – things that fit into the category of “really important.”  But they keep me from writing.

Good writing takes time.  Great writing takes undistracted time.

I want to do great writing.

So, my apologies for not “liking” you.  Or emailing you.  Or blogging, or having coffee with you or responding to your calls.  It’s not malicious, but it’s intentional.

I’ll tell you more about the book another time.  But I’m in the home stretch – enough that I feel OK letting you know through this post.

As I put a ribbon around the manuscript, I’ll start ramping up again on blogging regularly.  I’m exploring what that should look like, and might change the focus in the future (depending on what you value the most).  It’s a gift to me that you let me into your mind and your inbox occasionally, especially when it’s a 2-way conversation.

I don’t take that for granted.

In the meantime, thanks for your patience.

Having been mostly away from Facebook for a while, I’m wondering how much I want to go back.  Something to ponder.   But whether I push the “like” button or not, rest assured:

I really do like you. 


Senior Consultant at FranklinCovey; Speaker, Author of 5 books – including “People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them the Keys,” “I Wish He Had Come With Instructions,” and “Dealing With the Elephant in the Room.” (See Book page)

  • Joyce Stevens

    We love this book,it gives me insight, tl not leave my spouse. I think no on could stand and. Some one might loose their mind.. Thanks

  • Jenni Key

    Oh crap. There, I said it. This might be the most important blog you’ve ever written. And it’s EXACTLY what God is trying to say to me right now. I just didn’t want to slow down long enough to listen, really listen. And now you slid in sideways and caught me unaware and I had to read through and be convicted and now–oh crap, again–I’ll have to do something about it. Thanks. I think.

    • You make me smile, my friend. Always encouraging with a hint of snarkiness. Love it. Thanks . . . !

  • Lisa J. Loukoumidis

    I checked your blog just a few days ago because I hadn’t received any emails for quite awhile stating you had posted. I always enjoy your posts! This one really hit home because I had just decided last week while on vacation that I need make changes just like you are referring to. Great timing! I agree with what you wrote and am going to decide on my “One Thing!” I’m pretty sure it will be organizing and redoing things around our home. We are empty nesters as of about a month ago so now is a great time for that. Thanks for writing, and I look forward to hearing about your new book!

    • Thanks, Lisa – Encouraging words! Enjoy your process of organizing your house . . . it makes like better when you’re not tripping over stuff in the night. Thanks for connecting!

  • Ruth Bingke

    What a great post! I love that you are keeping the main thing- the main thing !! Such a good encouragement and example!! Thanks Mike! Looking forward to future posts!!