Have you ever noticed that whenever little kids draw adults, they usually include big nostrils?
There’s a reason for that. Think about a kid’s perspective. When they’re about three feet tall, and they look up an adult that’s five or six feet tall . . . what do they see?
Nostrils. Big nostrils.
When they’re looking straight up, it’s the first thing they notice. From their vantage point, those nostrils are rather obvious. So, why wouldn’t they draw them?
Makes sense. But it got me thinking.
When adults have conversations with each other, they’re normally at the same level. Even if there’s a difference in height, we can look each other in the eyes. We connect. We communicate. It feels like an adult conversation.
Eye contact makes all the difference.
With kids, it’s different. Adults tower over them, so it’s hard to have the same level of eye contact. Sure, we get down and play with them. But in the routine of day-to-day living, adults tend to talk down, while kids listen up.
I don’t want to put too much weight on this. But I think it’s worth considering.
A friend is in a wheelchair because of a car accident years ago. He was speaking to a group of young adults at our church once, and allowed people to ask any question they wanted about life in a wheelchair. People wanted to know how to treat the disabled, whether they should open doors for them without asking – just common courtesy questions.
Someone asked, “Is there anything you’d like us to do differently?” He responded, “When you’re holding an extended conversation with me, sit down so we can be at the same level and look each other in the eyes.”
I never thought of that. But that’s what real conversation is all about – looking each other in the eyes.
I think that applies to kids as well. When we’re having an in-depth conversation with a child (especially our own), we need to get to their level so we can make that connection.
That might mean squatting down while we talk. It might mean plopping them up on the kitchen counter so we can see the whites of their eyes, and they can see ours. It means we’re able to see into each other’s soul. Eye contact is an emotional hug that says, “You’re important to me.”
So I’m not suggesting that we have to do that in every conversation. We just need to be aware of how often we do connect at that level, and how often we don’t. Then make intentional choices based on what we discover.
Bottom line: My goal is that when my kids or grandkids draw pictures of me, it won’t be with huge nostrils.
It will be huge eyes – because that’s what they’re used to seeing.
Thoughts? Comment here.