10 Top Ways to Stay Married

10.  Never criticize your spouse in public, to anyone.  Ever.

Penguin couple

9.    Everybody has advice.  Ignore most of it.

8.    When your communication isn’t working, your spouse isn’t the enemy.  The enemy is probably the way you’re communicating.

Penguin couple7.    In conflict, remind each other that you’re on the same team.

6.    Don’t let pressure get between you, pushing you apart.  Keep it on the outside, pushing you together.

5.    Tell each other, “You’re stuck with me.  I’m not going anywhere.”  Often.

4.    Pick your battles.

3.    At the end of the day, ask your spouse, “How did you grow today?”

2.    Don’t have any escape clauses.  If ending the relationship isn’t an option, it frees you to make it through the tough times.

1.    Never lose your sense of wonder.


What suggestions would you add to the list?  Comment below . . .

  • Kathy Collard Miller

    A turning point in my marriage: Think “I love you” even when I couldn’t say it out loud.

    • You’re so right – doesn’t everything really take place (and get changed) in our heads? Thanks for sharing!

  • Mark Shin

    1. Never lose your sense of wonder.I sometimes think that marriage is like a life-long graduate program. You finalize the thesis of your interest, then spend the rest of your life studying and learning about the thesis you’ve worked so hard to find… Thanks for this reminder, Dr. Mike.

    • I love that metaphor – thanks! You’re right – when it comes to marriage, it’s worth going for an advanced degree.

  • Robin Dayneko

    To be posted in a predominant place in our home……Thank You!!!!!

    • Good thought – we should probably make our best ideas visible . . . Thanks!