Do you ever feel invisible? Like you have more to offer than people give you credit for? You want to make an impact, but nobody’s interested. People listen politely when you talk, but nothing ever happens. What’s the problem? You may not be adding enough value by sharing your unique genius.
To get noticed, get credit for your ideas, and make the impact only you can make, there are 3 important things you can do.
How much do you weigh?
You’ve been at your organization for a long time, but you get passed by for promotions. Other people are offered opportunities, but you’re always overlooked.
What’s the problem? You might need to gain weight.
I’m not talking about adding a few pounds. I’m referring to “increasing your contribution”.
The more you have to offer, the easier it is to get noticed. That’s why brain surgeons make more than a hospital intern. They’re both valuable and important people. But the surgeon has paid the price in terms of education, time and experience to provide results that people will pay a fortune for.
Suppose you dropped a ping pong ball off the top of a ten-story building, and it hits the lawn below. How much of an impact would it make?
Now suppose you drop a bowling ball over the edge. Could you tell where it landed?
Absolutely. It had greater weight, so it made more of an impact.
Why “Weight” is Important
A lot of employees tell their boss, “I need a raise.” They’ve been there for a long time, and feel like they should get paid more because of it.
The manager looks at it a little differently. They’re paying that employee for the value they bring. If they increase their skills, provide creative solutions to problems or engage well, there’s good reason to pay them more.
The easiest way to get noticed at work is to bring more value.
It’s also true in relationships – and just about every area of life. If you want to gain someone’s interest, the easiest way is to become more interesting.
I discovered this a couple of years ago. For the past 30 years, I’ve been traveling and teaching seminars in organizations ranging from a majority of the Fortune 50, 100 and 500 companies to mom-and-pop operations. I’d interact with people on a daily basis inside those organizations, but also with flight attendants, Uber drivers, restaurant personnel and other people. When I was writing books, articles and blog posts, I had a never-ending stream of ideas and real-life examples from which to draw.
Two years ago, I got off the road and have been interacting with clients in more of a coaching role from my home office. I talked to people, but lost the richness that comes from face-to-face conversations.
I ran out of things to write about. It’s hard to write things worth noticing if I’m sitting on my couch making things up out of my head.
What it Takes to Make an Impact
Last year, I started traveling to meet with these clients in person again. Suddenly, the inspiration came back. The richer the experiences I had, the more ingredients I had available to build value. That’s how I’ve been able to write articles more consistently, and more people are noticing.
To get people’s attention, you need to become a person of substance.
You need to gain “weight.”
I’ve found three ingredients that work together to increase your contribution: time, intention and resilience. Let’s break these three down.
Time
When our kids learned how to drive, we wanted them to have their first accidents as soon as possible (minor, and nobody got hurt). They were good drivers, and they knew the rules of the road. They made good choices.
My daughter rear-ended someone on the freeway who stopped too quickly and knocked his bumper off.
My son rear-ended someone when he saw a pretty girl in the car next to him.
They weren’t experienced. They didn’t have the “street smarts” yet. Their first accidents made them better drivers. It takes years of driving for them to hone their instincts.
Trying to build a life of impact doesn’t happen overnight; it takes time. “Weight” comes through a collection of life experiences over time – growing through the tough stuff.
Author James Michener said, “Never expect anything of value out of a person until they’re 35.” I don’t completely agree, but I remember 35 being a tipping point for me. Before that, I felt like I was contributing but I was really still in my growing and learning stage. Shortly after I turned 35, I realized I could make a serious contribution to others in a whole new way.
A baby impacts people because she’s cute. A 20-year old impacts people because of who they’ve become.
They can’t jump from 2 to 20; they have to grow one year at a time.
There are no short-cuts to developing a life of impact. A diamond isn’t formed overnight, and neither is a life. If we try to short-circuit the process, it becomes a get-rich-quick scheme. High-quality results don’t come from quick solutions.
Failure
Author and speaker John Maxwell wrote a book called “Failing Forward.” It’s based on the premise that we grow the most through our mistakes. If we avoid mistakes, we avoid growth. So the goal is to fail as often as possible. That means we’re intentional about growing.
My friend, Dave had been setting big goals but kept shying away from them for fear of failure. He and I attended a conference together this weekend where a speaker talked about how grateful he was for his failures. Today, Dave said he has a new goal for 2019: To fail at four big things during the year.
That’s being intentional. “Gaining weight” doesn’t happen by accident; it happens by making choices – taking risks to get better in our lives.
Resilience
The dictionary defines resilience as, “the ability to successfully cope with a crisis, and return to pre-crisis status quickly.”
This ties directly in with failure. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt to get knocked down; it means that we get back up again quickly. It’s a pattern that has to be learned over time as we intentionally choose to not get stuck in our mistakes. We learn from them, grow a bit and move forward.
Life isn’t easy. We all face challenges daily. Many people become cynical, feeling like they’ve been dealt a bad hand.
But you’re different. You face the same challenges, but they become stepping stones. When people see you handling the same challenges they do, but responding differently – they’ll take notice.
An Action Plan
Want others to notice you? Try these simple steps today:
- Just for today, don’t worry about making an impact in the future. What could you do today for someone else that would make their life richer? Make an impact where you are, with whatever you’ve got, whoever you’re with.
- Take a risk today. Pick one thing that you’re not sure will be successful, and do it anyway. Risk failure. If that failure happens, celebrate – you’ve grown.
- When something goes wrong today, don’t get stuck there. Acknowledge it and move forward.
Do you feel like people are ignoring you? Don’t wait for them to change; become a different person yourself.
Gain some “weight,” and you’ll catch their attention.