Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions of life each day?
You’d like things to get better, and you have great intentions of making it happen (which is why you even consider making resolutions). You get motivated for a while, but then you slip back into old patterns.
But it’s like trying to dry yourself with a towel while you’re standing in the rain.
The more this process happens, the more discouraging it becomes. Each failure feels worse than the last one, and makes it easier to feel like there’s no hope of change.
Maybe you feel like you’ll always be the way you are, and it’s easier to just accept your position in life than to deal with constant failure. It’s a lot less work, with a lot less guilt.
Guess what? You’re not alone. We’ve all been there. We want something better, but it seems out of reach.
It’s called “being human.”
It Takes More Than Motivational Posters
The internet is bursting at the seams with motivational slogans, memes,
I’ve never seen a mug that says, “I’m just OK.” I did see one once that said, “Dream Small – it’s your only hope for success, really.” We laugh because it’s true for most of us at one time or another.
But it doesn’t have to be true for you this year.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that younger people tend to be the ones trying to surge forward in life. But the older they get, and the more times it hasn’t worked – the more they start to settle into their comfort zone. “Drive” is replaced with “common sense.”
That’s too bad. As people get older, they have more to offer because of life experience, but they get discouraged and give up. They feel like they have nothing to offer, so they don’t offer anything – so nobody else gets the benefit of their wisdom.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
The Value of Comfort Zones
I travel a lot, but I’m not a great traveler.
I really like the idea of travel, but the whole process is stressful. I find myself worrying about all the little details of the trip before they ever happen:
- Wondering if my luggage is overweight
- Worrying about making connections if my flight is delayed
- Stressing over whether my carry-on bag will fit in the overhead compartment, and what will happen if they have to check it – and then it gets lost
- Hoping the hotel actually has my reservation
My wife and I went to Europe a few years ago for the first time. I worried about getting a cab driver that didn’t speak English (which happened), and not being able to direct him to our hotel (he found it anyway). I worried about finding bathrooms in unfamiliar places, eating unfamiliar food and experiencing unfamiliar experiences.
I was way out of my comfort zone.
That trip turned out to be awesome. Nothing I dreaded came to pass.
Now, we talk about going back to Europe. But my first thought is to repeat the exact same trip since it’s familiar.
I’m way back into my comfort zone.
I’m doing much better with travel now. I’ve learned how to talk myself through it and overcome my feelings, but it’s definitely a conscious effort.
Some people aren’t travelers, and don’t see life as a journey. They’ve gotten addicted to comfort, which anesthetizes them to the richness that’s found in exploring life. Over time, their perspective on life turns beige. They shrink inwardly instead of expanding outwardly, and they lose their sense of purpose.
But whether you’re an adventure-taker or an adventure-watcher, most of us have one thing in common
We like our comfort zones.
Is that a bad thing?
We’ve heard it for years: “You need to leave your comfort zone.”
We’ve been told that real life takes place when we stretch beyond where we are currently, and move in new, meaningful directions. It’s the mantra of a productivity-driven society.
Here’s the argument:
- We were meant for greatness.
- We’re not great now.
- We need to move away from our comfort zone to become great.
- We should never be satisfied with the way things are, but should strive for something better.
- If we stay where we are, we’re living a mediocre life.
There are a lot of variations on that theme, but the basic idea is the same: We need to change.
Actually, there’s a lot of truth in the basic idea. Most of us like being comfortable, which means keeping things the way they are. As we’ve all heard, “If you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’ll continue to be who you’ve always been, and get what you’ve always gotten.”
So most people need to catch a vision of what their life could become if they stretched. Their life would be richer, their contribution greater, and their relationships more fulfilling.
But many people assume that leaving their comfort zone will take them to a scary, uncomfortable world where they don’t speak the language or know their way around. They’re OK for a short vacation, but they’re relieved when they finally get home to their familiar surroundings.
That feeling is real. And it’s OK.
We need to come home on a regular basis. It’s where we regroup, recover and find our balance.
But we also need to leave home on a regular basis, moving in new directions and adding value to our lives (and the lives of others).
If we believe that our comfort zone is bad, we lose the richness of living in the present. We’ll feel guilty whenever we’re not stretching, and we’ll always be stressed about future performance.
We gotta have both.
What if we could find a balance? Extreme satisfaction with the present (being fully engaged in each moment), while taking steps to make a difference in the future?
We would experience a quantum leap in our quality of life, with less effort than we expected. We would make a contribution. We would make a difference.
We don’t need to make giant leaps. It’s more like moving to the edge of our comfort zone, stepping slightly outside our borders, then hanging out there until it becomes comfortable (becoming part of our new comfort zone). Then we repeat the process – stretch, adapt, get comfortable.
Then do it again.
And again.
It’s called growth.
Here’s the point: When we stop growing, we start dying.
Do you find yourself giving up because it’s too much work to grow – and you’re starting to settle?
Stay in your comfort zone – but stick your toes out. It’s something that anyone can do – and if you make it a habit, it’ll change your life.
Who knows what adventures you’ll find?