5:15 AM – It’s dark outside, and peaceful. I have a two-hour drive ahead for an early meeting with a client, so I decide to grab coffee for the trip.
I pull the door open at the local Starbucks. I’m barely inside when I hear the shouting from across the room: “GOOD MORNING, SIR! GREAT TO SEE YOU SO EARLY IN THE MORNING. MY, YOU’RE AN EARLY RISER. HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING?”
Now, I’m a morning person. I’m up early, and I enjoy the quiet of the pre-dawn hours. But the key word is “quiet.” There’s nothing better than starting my day slowly, savoring the silence before the world starts to speak. It fills my emotional tank so I have fuel for the day.
Hearing a high-energy greeting from a boisterous barista is like having the smoke alarm go off in the bedroom in the middle of the night. He has my attention, but I’m ready to walk back outside. He’s on a mission to energize others, dealing caffeine to jumpstart their day.
I’m sure he means well, and was probably hired for his energy and enthusiasm.
But he makes me tired.
Do you have an early bird in your life that tends to be just a little too . . . well, happy?
Studies show that about 7% of people are in this category. Some are noisier than others, but they’re genetically wired to start their day with their emotional pedal to the metal. They’re just excited about the early hours, and want to share it with the world.
A much larger percentage love mornings, but they do it quietly. As the morning progresses, they start engaging more and often do their best work before lunch. It’s their “sweet spot” for everything they do.
If you’re a morning person, you’re probably at your conversational best early in the day. At night, you might have trouble stringing coherent thoughts together and forming multisyllable words. You try, but you’re simply out of fuel.
Put a morning person at a breakfast table with a night person, and you’ll watch a conversational sideshow. The morning person is energized, curious and engaged, while the night person has trouble keeping up. But in the evening, the same scenario happens – in reverse.
What do morning people want you to know? Here are three perspectives:
Recognize that they’re not wrong – they’re just different from you.
Someone said, “If two people are exactly alike, one of them is unnecessary.”
It’s easy to look at the other person and think, “Why can’t they just change?” But it’s hard enough to change ourselves; changing others is close to impossible. It would be as tough for them to quit being a morning person as it would be for you to become one.
Don’t try to “fix” them
A friend of mine (a night person) said, “If people were meant to pop out of bed in the morning, they would sleep in toasters.”
We might not be able to change someone else, but we can choose how we respond to them. If we get irritated, it can ruin our whole day. We should watch, but not internalize it. As John Lennon sang, “Let it be.”
Be honest, but kind
When someone has more energy than we’re ready for in the morning, it’s easy to let frustration build. We feel like saying, “Will you just chill? You’re driving me crazy!” . . . but it probably wouldn’t be exactly edifying.
Instead, choose an honest response – but do it graciously.
I watched a night person converse with an extra-chatty person in the early morning. At one point he put up his hand as if to say, “Hold on.” Then he continued: “Hey, I gotta tell you – you’re a great conversationalist in the morning, but I’m not. I need you to slow down a little. My thoughts don’t connect very well this early. But if you want to wait until tonight, I’m all in.”
Next time I encounter a happy barista, maybe I could just grab a napkin and write “Proverbs 27:14” on it. Then I could hand it to him and say, “This is for you. It’s in the Bible. Look it up when you get a chance.”
It says, A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse.
I love mornings . . . and I love meeting with friends.
If you take me out to breakfast, I promise not to yell . . .
If you’re a morning person, what do you want people to know about you? Share in the comments (below).
Part 2 next week: “What to Do in Case of a Night Person”