Have you kept the New Year’s resolutions you made last year? Or did you even make any?
When you think about this coming New Year’s Day, do you see it as a chance for a fresh start – a “do-over?” Or have you given up because you’ve failed so many times in the past?
Well, it’s six weeks from today. Let’s talk about it.
Getting Unstuck
New Year’s Day would probably work better if it came in July. As it is, it comes at the end of a month that’s often characterized by unusual chaos, unrealistic expectations, and uncontrolled feasting. There’s a sense that we’ve already blown it for the year, so we give up – knowing that we can push “reset” at the beginning of the New Year.
It’s Mardi Gras in December. It’s a no-holds-barred party since we’ll be entering a period of self-denial and willpower.
That sounds like a treat, doesn’t it? We leave a fun, “get-to” season and jump into a painful “should-do” season of self-denial. No wonder we give up so soon!
As we go through the holidays, self-discipline tends to be pretty low. We don’t feel good about that, so we vow to change. We make “resolutions.”
The problem is that resolutions are based on willpower, and we only have a limited supply. When that supply runs low, we quit.
Even if we’ve failed in years past, that doesn’t stop us from trying again. We think, “I should be the kind of person who has the strength to pull this off.”
When it doesn’t happen, we don’t just say, “I failed.”
We often go the next step and say, “I’m a failure.”
That’s why a lot of people simply give up on change. Nobody likes to feel like a failure, so it’s just easier to accept our current situation.
There has to be a better way to make lasting change in our lives. Let’s explore a different option.
What’s the Purpose?
If we were satisfied with our lives, we wouldn’t need resolutions – right? We only make them when we want something to be different – our weight, our productivity, our finances, our habits.
We’ve all heard the definition of “insanity” – doing the same thing you’ve always done, over and over, and expecting different results. Obviously, New Year’s resolutions fit in that category. Everything about the process sabotages our best intentions.
What if we tried a different approach, and started making changes right now?
I’m not talking about just moving our resolutions up a few weeks. I’m suggesting we make a few simple changes in our daily routines – changes that will tweak our quality of life up a notch.
The underlying goal in making resolutions is that we want to be happy – and we figure we need to change the stuff that’s getting in the way. But if we make tiny changes in what we do each day, we’ll see immediate change in the way we feel.
We build our routines as a way to survive. When we do the same thing, in the same way, each day, over and over, we don’t have to think about it. Routines just happen, so there’s no (need to use precious conscious brain power to) decision.
Think about your morning routine. Do you find yourself doing exactly things in the same order each morning? You might even have the same thing for breakfast every day.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing. We use routines to cut down the clutter in our minds. Routines can be familiar and comfortable. But when we’re too comfortable, we run the risk of feeling bored and stale.
Do your routines energize you? Do they produce the kinds of results that you’re looking for in your life? Are you a different person than you were six months ago because of those routines?
What if we challenged our everyday routines – and simply took a step or two that would make us just a little happier than we were yesterday?
A Challenge for Real Change
I’m proposing that over the next six weeks, between now and New Year’s Day, we change one thing – in one of our routines – every day.
Just one.
The premise is that change energizes us and makes us feel better. It forces us to challenge our assumptions a bit, and it nudges us out of our comfort zone. That’s where we learn to do things that are different or new, and it breaks our complacency.
Some people say, “You need to leave your comfort zone.” It’s logical, but that puts us in our “discomfort zone.” When we spend too much time being uncomfortable, what do we do? We give up on our resolutions and go back to our comfort zones where it’s safe.
A better approach is to go to the far edge of our comfort zone and reach out just beyond it. When we do that, our comfort zone expands just a little. We’ve tried something different, and eventually, it becomes comfortable – not overnight, but over time.
If you’ll try it for the next 36 days, I can almost guarantee you’ll feel better. You’ll be more energized. You’ll be happier because you’re growing and taking control.
Even Neuroscience backs it up, according to the research. When you do something you don’t normally do, your brain makes new connections. Your brain becomes more flexible for handling future opportunities – and it just makes you feel better in general.
Where to begin? Here are some ideas to get started:
- Take a different route to work one day, and see what you discover along the way.
- Order something you’ve never tried at Starbucks.
- Ask someone to show you their best tip for organizing their email.
- Sleep on the other side of the bed for one night.
- Read fiction instead of nonfiction – or vice versa.
- Go to the gym at a different time than usual.
- Drink only water for your beverage for an entire day.
- Don’t check your email until you’ve accomplished an important task.
- Stand in front in a crowded elevator and face everyone.
- Go for a walk in the evening instead of watching television.
- Write someone a letter on paper and send it.
- Say “no” to something you’d normally say “yes” to.
- Say “yes” to something you’d normally say “no” to.
- Brush your teeth with your opposite hand.
- Help a total stranger.
- Volunteer to do something that’s not easy.
- Take a beautiful photo on your phone every day.
- List 10 things that you’re grateful for.
- Have dinner for breakfast, and breakfast for dinner.
- Wear a color that you normally don’t wear.
- Talk to someone in line.
- Arrange the books on your bookshelf by color.
- Borrow someone’s dog and take it for a walk (if you don’t have your own).
- Read a great book on managing your priorities.
- Do your daily routine in a different order.
If you’ll do something to break your routine every day, you’ll feel differently on New Year’s Day. You’ll feel energized, and you’ll feel like you’re moving forward.
You won’t even need to make resolutions, because you’ll already feel alive – and you’ll be moving in the direction of making a positive difference in your life.