When I’m on a business trip, I don’t get to relax the way I do at home.
I’m catching flights, returning rental cars, finding meals on the run, interacting with clients and speaking in front of groups all day long. Making close flight connections is always a little unnerving, and it’s easy to feel exhausted by the time my plane finally hits the tarmac.
And as an introvert, there’s always that occasional extroverted seatmate who’s excited for someone to talk to nonstop for a few hours. (Big headphones help give a hint – but not always.)
I get off the plane, work my way back to my car, and settle in for the hour-long drive home. At least it’s quiet, so I can decompress. But if I’m completely wiped out, it feels much longer.
Finally, I pull into my driveway. I turn off the engine and sit in the quiet for just a minute.
I’m home.
I can finally relax.
I’ve arrived at my comfort zone. It feels like I’ve come to an oasis in the desert after being in the blazing sun all day.
For the moment, that comfort zone is my best friend. It’s where I recover and regroup.
I know people say, “You need to stay out of your comfort zone. Nothing important ever happens in your comfort zone.”
But I’ve learned that we can’t live without it.
Comfort Zones Aren’t the Problem
If we want to grow, try something new, reach a new goal or embark on something amazing, it can’t be “business as usual.” We usually have to stretch ourselves beyond what’s familiar. Yes, that happens outside of our comfort zone.
But comfort zones get a bad rap.
It’s not realistic—or practical—to be constantly stretching.
The comfort zone is where we live, relax and regroup. It’s where we recharge and gain energy for the next adventure.
It’s where we are . . . well, comfortable.
It’s kind of like exercise.
When we lift weights, we push our muscles out of their comfort zone. That exertion is how those muscles grow. But when the workout is over, those same muscles need time to recover.
That recovery time is when rebuilding happens. Growth comes from repeated cycles of exertion and rest.
Comfort zones aren’t the villain – something to be avoided. They’re an essential part of every type of growth.
Relationships work that way, too.
Our similarities provide comfort zones where we can be ourselves. They’re the familiar places in our relationships – the things we enjoy together, the experiences we share, the ways we know and understand each other.
But after a while differences show up.
Those differences can stretch us and take us to challenging places. It’s not a bad thing – it’s just real. Healthy relationships need both.
But I don’t think a relationship is supposed to feel like one long workout.
The comfort zone should make up the biggest chunk of it.
When we feel accepted, we feel safe. And when we feel safe, we’re more willing to explore the uncomfortable places together.
Maybe the goal isn’t to get rid of our comfort zones.
Maybe we need to make sure we have a comfort zone that’s worth coming home to.