People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them the Keys

Let me guess — you read this blog title, and you already have someone in mind, don’t you?

You have a crazy person in your life.  It might be an extended family member that drives you crazy.  It could be a co-worker or neighbor on a mission to make you miserable.  You might be married to that person — or related to them through your marriage.

They drop in, set your life on fire, and leave.  Somehow, they’re the one person who hijacks your emotions and holds them hostage.  Even when they’re not around, your emotions seem to be at the mercy of their next visit — and reeling from the shrapnel from your last encounter with them.

We think, “Don’t they realize how crazy they are?”  If we could just “fix” that person, everything would be better.

But we can’t fix other people.  We can influence them, but we can’t force them to change.

We can only make better choices about ourselves.

Strange as it may seem, other people are not nearly as committed to our happiness as we are.  And we’ll never escape having crazy people in our lives.

But we don’t have to be victims of their craziness.  Martin Luther said, “You might not be able to stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”

So, how do you influence crazy people?  How can we protect ourselves when they don’t change?  And how can we keep from controlling our emotions?

If you’ve been following this blog for the past couple of months (since we started), you know we’ve been focusing on practical, realistic strategies for healthy relationships with others — whether they’re crazy or not.  It’s all about thriving in our relationships rather than surviving them. (If you’re a new reader, check out some of the previous posts.)

If you’ve liked what you’ve been reading here, you’ll probably enjoy picking up a copy of People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them the Keys.  It’s my latest book, and today (October 1) is the official launch date.  That means it’s available through online bookstores immediately (I’ll put links below), and should start appearing shortly on local bookshelves.

In grocery stores, drug stores, Wal-Mart, airport bookstores and similar outlets, you’ll probably find it on the “inspirational” rack.  In Barnes & Noble-type bookstores, it will be in “self-help” or “relationships.” (If they don’t have it, they can order it.)

It’s available in three formats:

1. Paperback – For us purists who love the feel of paper.
2. Kindle – For the more tech-driven among us (Check out the rest of my website, and you’ll know that’s not me).
3. Audio – For those who want to take me running with you, or have me talk to you when you’re in your car.

Here are some online links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/People-Cant-Drive-Crazy-Dont/dp/080072111X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349044244&sr=8-1&keywords=people+can%27t+drive+you+crazy

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/people-cant-drive-you-crazy-if-you-dont-give-them-the-keys-mike-bechtle/1108259285?ean=9780800721114

ChristianBook.com: http://www.christianbook.com/people-drive-crazy-give-them-keys/mike-bechtle/9780800721114/pd/721114?product_redirect=1&Ntt=721114&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&event=ESRCP

The first week of a book launch is the most critical for the long-term success of the book.  So if you’re interested, there are several things you could do to help that launch be successful — getting the book in the hands of more people who could benefit from it (including the crazy people in your life . . . )

• Pick up a copy for yourself this week.
• Pick up a copy for a friend this week.
• Pick up a copy for the crazy person in your life.  They’ll think it’s about you.
• Write a short review on Amazon and/or other online sites.  Few people actually do that, but it’s one of the biggest factors in whether a person buys a book or not.  (Don’t you check the number of reviews and how many stars it has when deciding?  I do!)  Often, the majority of reviews come from book critics whose post their reviews as part of their job.  So your quick input could be huge.
• Spread the word.  Share it, post it, tweet it, email it.

You need to know how grateful I am that you’ve allowed me to hang out with you for a couple of months.  You can tell from my “bare-bones” website that I haven’t been putting a lot of energy into making everything pretty and shiny yet.  (I’m going to get someone to help me with that.)  I’m just enjoying the chance to have some dialogue with you, and value your input in shaping the direction of our discussions.  Let me know what’s on your mind, and we’ll steer it that direction.

Let me know what you think of the book – and let it stir up ideas for us to talk about in the future.

Enjoy the journey!